I live in a country/continent whereby beauty is defined by your hair, colour of your skin, size, height and other frivolous things. Don't get me wrong, am not condemning those who think that way. I guess it just their way of life , their mentality or the way they were simply brought up. I once had a friend who her self esteem was damaged beyond measure, this was as a result of how she was taunted as a younger girl. Let me give u a brief information into how I also felt then. I used to feel pissed about some certain things in my life. I went to a boarding school and erhm I was a smallie *covers face* I was smaller than my pairs, even my sisters and cousins. I did not like my hair the way it was, I was relaxed but the annoying hair back then never used to relax but always burnt. Phewwwwww it was not funny oh chei, lolz . Even my own people used to call me sponge hair. My hair always looked cranky, I felt out of place sometimes because I simply was small, for me it was my small size/hair, for some other sisters its their big size that's an issue or their skin colour. I used to think 'at least if this my hair behaves, I would look better than I was ' Taaaaaaa, all that was just a mere lie. Me deceiving myself. I never felt good about my hair, always had it made up, later on my edges were almost gone and I was almost looking like iya eko. This wasn't my fault but due to unnecessary tension exerted on those spots. My image about myself worsened. Please don't be fooled, horrible hair can lead to low self esteem. You would feel so ashamed to carry your real hair outside. It got to a point I had to go back to the drawing board and talk some sense into myself. Now back to my friend, she did not like her skin colour, her hair and her looks. she just felt out of place in every way. She opted for creams to make her lighter, maybe with this she would be accepted by men, friends and the taunting would reduce. We kind of talked about this, I was hurt for her because even if she altered herself that wont solve her problem; the solution was to take place from within.
We are in a world where even our men feel if you aint light, with long curls of extension, tall, slim, sexy, phonetics speaking, etc, you are not beautiful. *shaking my head* If only they know what they have to make a lot of women go through to feel accepted by them. This has become a norm which is a venom poisoning the minds of our very beautiful women. I told her - Beauty doesn't have to be defined by the way some one else looks; beauty isn't a form of pill or food that can be gotten! Beauty is who you are from inside out. You cant be someone else and be called beautiful. However horrible u feel you are, your made that way for a special reason, in our diversity lies our beauty. I may not be the extra large hipped lady but I am made this beautiful way for a purpose. A lot of young ladies and even adults need to go back to their drawing board, your hair, your skin, however you are made is unique in it own amazing way. We were created from the finest of dark sands with the kinkiest of hairs in our beautiful bodies because we are all wonderfully made. If that man doesn't like you the way you are then he does not deserve you. If your hair becomes a barrier in your friendship, then good riddance. This life is too small to be engrossed in the what ifs and appreciate the what haves. What you have is enough and amazing for you. Embrace who you are and appreciate what you have, believe you are royalty and you are. I have come to appreciate my kinks, small size and everything about me. How would I inspire another if I hate myself because its self hate for one not to appreciate himself/herself. You don't have to live by the world's standards! Carve out your own beautiful standards and live a beautiful life without self hate. Young lady, if you are reading this I oblige you to love yourself irrespective of your flaws because in your amazing flaws lies your unique beauty. Remind yourself of how awesome you are and the world would see how you radiate and glow . I would say it again, beauty lies in our diversity; our uniqueness shows the beauty of God's creativity. There is no shame in being a black princess as we all are. Thank you for learning to love yourself.
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